Tag Archives: wimp

My Dog Is 10% Fairy

I have come to the conclusion that my dog is 90% tank and 10% fairy. He is an oaf and a delicate flower all encapsulated in one bandy legged idiot in (not much) fur.

Reasons my dog is a tank;

He punches holes in fences with his fat head. Seriously. He chased after a cat that was in the garden the other day and when said cat jumped over the fence, he ran straight through it into next doors garden, leaving a comical ‘Scooby Doo’ esque dog shaped hole in his wake.

He repeatedly headbutts things. He has a great habit of walking along and not looking where he is going and looking at more interesting things like trees and cars, turning around to look forward again and headbutting walls, posts, cars and trees. He is never phased by this, and usually merely blinks and carries on with his business.

He can’t have ‘normal’ dog toys as he will annihalate them within seconds. This just proves to be expensive after a while! A boomer ball and a bulls horn are his only toys now. Ever since he scattered the remains of a rubber chicken all over my house and garden I decided no more rubbish flimsy normal dog toys.

He has a nemesis and it is the BIGGEST dog in the local field. A huge brown dog that he hates with a passion to the point where I actively avoid that field because of this dog. It happened because said big brown dog barked repeatedly in Trevors face and he has had it in for him ever since. I do sometimes ask myself why he has to pick a fight with the biggest dog around….

At agility he shocked the professional agility coach with his pigheadedness. She advised we take everything very slowly (especially tunnels and see-saws) as they can frighten a lot of dogs unless introduced carefully. Not Trevor. Trevor chose to batter his way through the pretty coloured jumps and knock poles flying everywhere, run across the top of the tunnel, falling off and landing on his head, run back through the tunnel and skid out upside down before launching himself over the A frame at lightspeed eventually jumping on the see-saw with the kind of glee I expect a lunatic to feel upon asylum escape.

Reasons my dog is a fairy;

He hates having his toes touched. He snorts like a piggy and tries to chew my hands if I fiddle with his toes too much.

On the weekend I accidentally trod on one of his feet outside a Londis and (remember this dog headbutts walls and fences unphased) he squealed like an injured banshee, announcing to everyone within a twenty mile radius that I had savagely beaten him to within an inch of his life.

He got beaten up by a bichon frise. That bichon was called Candy, she was tiny and white and fluffy, she stood up on her hind legs and bopped him on the nose with both paws, and Trevor, being the fierce Staffordshire Bull Terrier he is, squeaked, tucked his tail and ran away.

He HATES being blown on. To the point of ridiculousness. Here his is hiding behind a pillow and looking at me as though to say ‘Why hoooooman? Why you do that?’

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So what about your dogs? Are they more tank, or more fairy?